Give Me 10 Reasons
by anubisd101
Summary: "Just leave me alone!" "No, you shouldn't do this!" "Oh yeah, give me one reason. Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill myself!" "Ok, fine. I'll show you 10 reasons." Smosh/Smosh Games AU. Lasercorn/OC (or) David/OC (Main Couple), Ian/Anthony (Ianthony), Joven/Mari (or) Jovenshire/Mari (or) Josh/Mari (or) Joshua/Mari (Marishire). Trigger Warning! Rated T for a reason.


I set up the camera. I cleaned the lens, adjusted it, and put the tripod perfectly in the center of the front of my bed. Once I was sure everything was perfect, I pressed record, and sat crossed legged on my bed.

"Hey." I said to the camera. "You probably don't know me, unless I know you in real life. My name's Amber. And, this is my first YouTube video." I paused. I took a deep breath, and a drink of water. This was beginning to feel more worse, and worse of an idea. Once I swallow, and put my drink aside, I continued.

"Ok, so, I want to start off by saying, I know this is not what most people do, or talk about in their very first YouTube video ever. But...this is something I have to do." I paused. How do I start? I didn't script this, I knew it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't feel the same. But now, looking back on that, I probably should have at least jotted down a few thoughts instead of going straight into this completely blindfolded.

"So...a few weeks ago, I had..." Dramatic pause. "the worst day of my life. I'm not going to get into details, I don't want to get anyone in trouble. But, let's just say...I didn't end that day without a scratch." I began to feel a bit dizzy. Just talking about it in the most softcore way was giving me anxiety. I took another sip of water, and waited until my stress-levels were down enough to talk again with out a good chance of having a panic attack.

"At school, a bunch of bullies were picking on me. It started out with teasing, name calling, then got into them yelling at me to cut myself, and kill myself..." I began to tear up. _No. Don't forget._

"And, during classes, most of the the teachers were telling me that I wasn't smart enough for their class, that I should transfer, that I should just give up, and drop out. I mean, I know I'm not a straight A student, but I pass most of the time." _Stop. This isn't about you, it's about them._

"Then, right after school, the same kids who were bullying me before came up to me. They said the same stuff, but...then, one of the girls pushed me. And, eventually, all of them joined in."

"I went home with a lot of bruises, but no major injuries. It was just a pain in the...everywhere, to walk home."

"When I got home, it was strangely quiet. But, at the time I thought nothing of it. So, I just went straight up to my room, and covered the bruises up with some makeup, so nobody would notice."

"After about an hour, I saw my parent's car roll into the driveway, through my window. I didn't even know they were gone, so I was a bit confused at first. But, after a couple minuets, my mom called me downstairs. So, I listened, and went down."

"When I got down there, my parents were there in their work cloths. For my dad it was an office suit, and for my mom it was a button down tucked into a pencil skirt, and stilettos." I'm getting distracted.

"Anyways, they had someone else with them. I learned that it was my dad's co-worker, his wife, and their son. And that their house caught on fire, so my parents offered them the guest bedroom until they found a new house in the same area."

"Now, let me just put it out there now. Me, and my parents, DO NOT get along! They didn't even want a child. And, I think you guys can tell where I'm going with this. I don't want to get into detail, and I think you guys can understand that." I wiped away at the tears that were just coming out of my eyes. I couldn't cry. Not _yet_ at least.

"So, anyways, I had nothing wrong with this. Until I learned that we had to have dinner together. They made our butler cook steak, and french fries. So, that's what we did. We all sat down at the dining table, which wasn't abnormal. I'm forced to eat dinner with my parents at least 2 days a week. One of those days is always Sunday."

"But, anyways, we sat down, and got to know each other more. Well...sort of. It was more like the adults talking, and me playing with my food, which I'm pretty sure their son was doing as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anorexic, I was just a little uncomfortable, I had high anxiety, and I was kicked in the stomach, and throat at school, so eating wasn't exactly the first thing I wanted to do."

"But, towards the end of dinner, we decided we'd all go around the table, and say a different fact about ourselves. Well...it was more like we were forced to, but I guess it was good to find out about people you'd be living with for a while. Each of us would pick a topic, and we'd all answer. For example, favorite color, favorite book, favorite celebrity, etc." I'm getting off track again. Why do I always do this?

"Then, that was over. I went to my room, watched some TV, did my homework, normal 'before bed' stuff. Then got ready for bed by changing into my pajamas, brushing my teeth, etc."

"Then, at around 11 PM, I woke up from a nightmare. Not gonna say what it was about. But, I realized I was hungry, mainly from not eating dinner, so, I went down for a midnight snack. I got a glass of orange juice. But, before I could get anything else, my mom came in." _Great. Here's the best part. Yay._

"She said 'What, are you trying to wake the whole house up?'. Then we got into a big fight. She told me that I acted horrible at dinner, and that I didn't deserve such a good meal if I wasn't going to eat it. Then she called me ungrateful, then back and forth. Then, she ended it with a slap across my face, and a shove to the floor...She said that I didn't deserve the life I was given, and that I shouldn't even try. That nobody loves me, and nobody ever will, that I should kill myself. Then, she went back upstairs to her, and my dads' bedroom." By now, I had tears streaming down my face, but I didn't care. My voice barely changed. I was good with keeping control of my voice.

"Her words really hurt me. I mean, I knew that my parents didn't particularly love me, but I never expected my own mother to tell me that I didn't deserve to be on this planet, or to tell me to take my own life." I began to shake, while trying to hold back sobs. I took a few minuets to calm down, before continuing.

"I listened to her. I went up to the bathroom, and got out my" I chuckled. "'Oh-so-familiar' blades. I was gonna do it. I was cut myself, down a bottle of pills, and drown myself in my bathtub." I said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"So why didn't I?" I laughed again.

"Let me tell you a story..."


End file.
